Gifted Yes and Sacred Nos

Gifted Yes and Sacred Nos Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams by Kari Machal Designs I was lucky enough to get my coaching paws on LErin Alta-Devki  before she was a business babe, and boy, did I know she was gonna be a big light in this realm of gorgeous female entrepreneurs. This post proves me right. Is this you? You are a powerhouse, a rockstar, a glowing light poised to illuminate the world. You’ve got a big, bright, beautiful vision but instead of feeling inspired and excited, you’re increasingly overwhelmed and uncertain of how to move forward. You’re ready to do your own thing but feel guilty about possibly disappointing folks who want you to follow the straight and narrow. You feel obligated to say yes and end up resenting most of the things you’ve said yes to. You’re afraid that if you say no, people will think you’re rude or selfish and you might risk loosing the relationship. Truth be told, starting a business, manifesting your vision and living your dream require courage, tenacity and the willingness to confidently say no. A no based on your values, availability, desires, or the feeling that something just ain’t right, liberates you. Saying yes when you really want to say no blocks your dreams, births resentment, fosters burnout, and encourages you to settle for less. Allow your yes to be a gift, offered when and how feels good to you. Do not say yes simply because you fear rejection, resentment or abandonment. Do not say yes just because it seems easier than being misunderstood. Perfect times to say yes: When the possibility makes your heart sing. When you’re curious about what might happen next. When the proposal sounds fun and makes you smile. When it feels good to say yes. Your no is as sacred as your yes. Clear boundaries allow you to be who you actually are, do what you truly love and create a life that works for you. When you say no with clarity and love, you attract friends, lovers, customers and community who appreciate you for you. A few more benefits of saying no: Saying no is an invaluable self-care practice for creating focus, reinforcing values and strengthening confidence. Saying no creates a sacred container to do your most valuable work, develop your most fulfilling relationships and design a life of otherwise incomparable satisfaction. Saying no filters out people, practices and experiences that don’t support your highest and best good. Saying no needs no explanation, apology or justification. Your decision is sufficient. Saying no illuminates what you believe and who you are becoming. Saying no is a chance to reimagine, reinvent, reevaluate and release. Saying no is a confidence vitamin. Saying no is an opportunity to do what you want to do without getting someone else’s permission first. Saying no to what isn’t working creates more room for saying yes to what is. Saying no out of integrity instead of yes out of obligation means you’re alive, engaged and at the helm of your choices. What are you unwilling to continue doing, tolerating or accepting? Ways to honor your nos today: Look at your To Do list. What have you been avoiding for at least a month? What makes you cringe? What do you wish would just go away? If it MUST get done, can you delegate it or find a way to make it fun? If it mustn’t get done, just say NO. Cross it off your list.   Review your calendar for the next month. Are there commitments you feel like you should do but actually have no interest in? Graciously cancel them. Spend that time doing something you actually want to do. Bonus: Go through your Facebook friend list and/or contact list in your phone. If there’s anyone you haven’t talked to in over a year and aren’t remotely interested in maintaining contact with, remove him or her. You are not obligated to stay in touch just because you were in third grade together or exchanged contact information at a conference once. LErin Alta-Devki  is author of the forthcoming book  Sacred No * Divine Yes: A Soulful Guide to Healthy Boundaries.  A transformational teacher, speaker and workshop facilitator, she  works with women who are already doing what theyre called to do and are ready to catalyze miracles.  Learn about her private coaching, workshops and retreats at  SisterFire.com. Meet her on  Facebook  and Twitter  @lerin.